Poison

 

I can listen no longer in silence. In unfaulty punishment. Between Blood. Between abuse. Within Hate. In Grief and Misery. In Cry and Heartbreak. In unfailing emotional eruptions and traumas. Beyond Tolerance. I must not speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you? Again? With a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it?  Dare to say that this love has an earlier death. I loved none but you.

Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? You failed to have understood my wishes. I had not waited even these days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You did us justice, indeed.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow my destiny without you, as you wanted, as soon as possible. I fear the pain that would bleed inside of me. I am frightened by the knowledge that all this, so beautiful and heavenly is going to end soon. A word, a look, being enough to decide whether I should see you this evening or never.